Over the weekend, the newest entry into the Twilight “saga” was unleashed upon humanity. It grossed over $139.5 million. Its audience was mostly comprised of females (a stunning 80%) and women (60% older than 21). That is insane. You know how wet those seats must’ve gotten when that pasty-faced vampire sucker sauntered onto the screen? Sweet Baby Jesus…
$139.5 million is a ton of tickets. A lot of people went to this movie. I, thankfully, was not one of them.
Four things I’d rather do than watch Twilight:
1. Jump off a bridge
2. Make love to a venus fly trap
3. Drink the Kool-Aid
4. "Horse around" with Jerry Sandusky
Posted in Things I'd Rather Do
Tagged Bella, box office, Breaking Dawn, chick flick, Edward, Kristen Stewart, lame, list, movies, Robert Pattinson, Stephenie Meyer, Taylor Lautner, Things I'd Rather Do, trailer, Twilight, vampires, werewolves
In what might be the definitive piece of evidence needed to convince your tween sister and/or girlfriend (hopefully not the same girl, although I’m not judging) that Twilight encourages sodomy and underage sex, Robert Pattinson kissed Taylor Lautner last night at the MTV Movie Awards.
All the proof I’ll ever need in convincing that 15 year-old to do anal.
“No, I don’t want you sticking it in there! I heard anal was gay.”
“Yeah?! Well, I heard Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner are gay. They kissed. On the lips.”
“… Do me in the ass.”
Posted in Boob Tube
Tagged anal, anal sex, award, awards show, books, Breaking Dawn, Edward Cullen, gay, gay kiss, gay sex, gays, guy on guy action, homosexual, Jacob Black, kiss, MTV, MTV Movie Awards, pop, pop culture, popcorn award, Robert Pattinson, sodomy, Stephenie Meyer, Taylor Lautner, Team Edward, Team Jacob, TV, tweens, Twilight, vampires, werewolves