Tag Archives: Squinty

The Chinese Re-Invent Porn With Sex And Zen

Audiences looking forward to something new and exciting to watch in theaters as the summer blockbusters start rolling in are certainly going to pitch their tents for this premiere!

Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy is coming to a North American theater near you. And guess what? It’s in 3-D! 3-D!

The “world’s first 3-D erotic film” is known internationally for being celluloid’s top money-maker and for besting Avatar‘s opening day box office. Leave it to the Chinese to make more money off the two things us Americans do better than most of the world. Goddamn squinty-eyes! Porn and 3-D were our things!

While I’ve been told that there is no actual penetration shown on film, there’s plenty of nudity and loads of Asian chicks. I also hear theaters will be handing out free Kleenexes at all showings. Hazzah! Can’t wait.

Should We Just #@$% Shit Up

The torture continued on The Jersey Shore as Ronnie and Sam dominated the episode with the same old song and dance. “Should we stay together?” “Should we break up?” Wahh! Wahh! Pass me another fried pickle and get on with it. Crazy Ronnie is much more entertaining anyway, because it leads to anal probes and bloody stool.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) NASTY never had anything stuck up his ass without his full consent down in Seaside.

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Drunk Punch Fear

Last night’s Jersey Shore featured some great domestic violence action courtesy of, who else, Ronnie and Sam. Clearly the Jersey Shore can bring out the absolute worst of people and last night proved that point. So when you start with degenerative scum, it’s only right that they transform themselves into debaucherous shitshows.

NASTY continues his journey towards accomplishing just that.

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Free NASTY

This week we got a double dose of Jersey Shore shenanigans. In both servings, we witnessed Seaside troll Snooki getting arrested. That makes it two cast members who’ve now been thrown in the slammer. If you’ve ever been to Seaside Heights on July 4th weekend, you wouldn’t be surprised. You’d be amazed at how many people can be arrested in one night. Believe me when I tell you, I was there.

Last we left NASTY, he was about to leave the comforts of sanity and spiral deeper down the hellacious path towards perversion.
Click to continue reading NASTY’s Encounter

It’s Gonna Be An Interesting Summer

When it’s 90 degrees out and the sun is slow-cooking your skin to a nice crisp, it’s best to leave the partying to the pros. Even the idiots on Jersey Shore know that the only way you’re making it out alive is to always bring back-up.

pudge NASTY continues his journey into the hell-hole that was Seaside, NJ. Continue reading

Return to the Shore

Thursday night was the Season 3 premiere of Jersey Shore. TV’s latest reality show juggernaut revolves around a cast made up of mostly Italian-American degenerates. They drink. They party. They spread STDs.

The American Way of Life on full juiced-up display for all the world to see — and laugh at.

The Cast of Jersey Shore: Season 3

Shame that no one ever asked to film me getting boozed up and chasing broads with my cast of depraved goons during my short stay at the Jersey Shore. I’d have done it for free.

World, allow me to introduce pudge NASTY and his nasty encounters with the sodomizing wench that is Life. NASTY, take it away