Tag Archives: sex tape

Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Bought A Pregnancy Test Then Went Out For Hookah With Porn Star Riley Jensen

Posted on May 14, 2013 by | Leave a comment

I’m pretty sure you can’t get pregnant like that. But maybe I’m wrong.

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She bought it because pregnancy tests just happened to be on sale!

Former Teen Mom and newly minted celebrity sex tape star, Farrah Abraham, scared the bejesus out of male porn star and fellow celebrity sex tape co-star James Deen this past Sunday (on Mother’s Day, no less!) when she was photographed purchasing a pregnancy kit. James Deen did not find it cool:

“To say you’re potentially pregnant is not something to joke about. When you knowingly involve another human being and a publicity stunt around that, a child is not something to be taken lightly. It’s not a game anymore and it’s really not cool.” (Celebuzz)

But Farrah Abraham brushed the whole thing off like it wasn’t a big deal. Probably because it’s just part of her routine now, even if she did anal.

James Deen shouldn’t worry too much. I’m sure she’s not pregnant. In fact, if I were James Deen, I’d be more worried about the fact that Farrah Abraham is now hanging out with other porn stars, like Riley Jensen, now.

**EXCLUSIVE** FROM TEEN MOM TO HOOKAH! 'Teen Mom' turned porn star Farrah Abraham has become a hookah smoker, as she hangs out with Riley Jensen at Viceroy's Hookah Lounge in Los Angeles

That’s porn star Riley Jensen with Farrah Abraham

**EXCLUSIVE** FROM TEEN MOM TO HOOKAH! 'Teen Mom' turned porn star Farrah Abraham has become a hookah smoker, as she hangs out with Riley Jensen at Viceroy's Hookah Lounge in Los Angeles

Didn’t anyone ever tell Farrah not to shit where she eats?

**EXCLUSIVE** FROM TEEN MOM TO HOOKAH! 'Teen Mom' turned porn star Farrah Abraham has become a hookah smoker, as she hangs out with Riley Jensen at Viceroy's Hookah Lounge in Los Angeles

This is just asking for some trouble

Can’t ever be too careful if you’re #@$%ing with NoRubbers, amirite?

More pics of Farrah Abraham smoking hookah with a porn star after the jump.

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Farrah Abraham’s Sex Tape Promises To Show You That The Best Way In Is Through The Backdoor (NSFW)

Posted on May 2, 2013 by | Leave a comment

If the head of Vivid Entertainment, Steve Hirsch, said it, it has to be true.

Former Teen Mom Farrah Abraham has finally owned up to selling a sex tape starring herself with male porn star James Deen. Just like everyone had assumed. And maybe because she’s kind of attractive (in the right light), or because she’s got a nice pair of fake tits, I suspect that this sex tape will be a huge seller. Also, the title, “Farrah Abraham: Backdoor Teen Mom”, kind of explains my thought process here.

Oh hey! Here’s a sorta SFW screencap from the tape:

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Farrah Abraham #@$%s with NoRubbers. And apparently takes it up the butt

If MTV has proved anything with their 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom programs it’s that America wholly supports its burgeoning population of single teen moms. And since Farrah is the most famous single teen mom trying to make it out there in this world, all by herself, all of America should band together and celebrate what an awesome job this young mother is setting for the future generations of America. Because by selling your post-pregnancy body to the highest bidder, you’re taking back your sexuality and declaring yourself liberated from the shackles of society. You are a single mother, a woman and perhaps, most importantly, a role model for all other teen moms.

As long as you promise to do a little anal. Because at least that way there’s no chance of you getting knocked up again. Amirite?

All of Farrah’s NSFW screencaps from Egotastic after the jump.

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Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Got So Desperate That She Paid James Deen To Shoot A Porno Scene When She Could’ve Made One With Me For Free

Posted on April 11, 2013 by | 1 Comment

Teen Mom will and should go down as one of the most appalling displays of misguided entertainment and exploitation in American history.

Exhibit A: Farrah Abraham

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“This is how I do homework” – Teen Moms everywhere

Here we have a mildly attractive teen who sought her 15 minutes of fame by agreeing to star in a reality series documenting her trials and tribulations after giving birth to her first child at 17. As soon as the cameras rolled, Farrah was transformed from mildly attractive girl with an extremely sad backstory (“Abusive mom, baby daddy dead 2 weeks before their baby’s birth, born and raised in Iowa…”) to desperate for money, attention-seeking reality TV mom.

It all starts with the somewhat professional bikini shoots along the beach.

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Genuine smile. Fake tits

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This is in no way an attempt to seek attention

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Take notes, aspiring teens: “Sideboob will get you places”

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Sunny, sandy, beach-y places

And then comes the sex tape scandal (“Just ask Octomom“) and before you know it, the world’s worst kept secret (“That she did in fact film a sex tape”) is being brought out in front of the firing squad. After days of denying that she had any part in an alleged sex tape that was being shopped around to Steve Hirsch at Vivid Entertainment, Farrah Abraham has finally admitted that she did indeed pay the ever popular male porn star James Deen to co-star in her sex tape.

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I wonder if she did anal…

Which, like, girl, I totally would’ve done that fo’ free.

Of course, not all your problems can be solved by selling your sex tape to the highest bidder. But could you imagine if it could? Life would be so much better.

More pics of the Teen MILF Mom and her awesome sideboob after the jump.

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I May Have Popped A Boner When I Heard That There Might Be An Emma Stone Sex Tape Somewhere

Posted on November 26, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Emma Stone is the best.

Not only can she tell a joke, but she looks great in a dress. And she’s still only 24, which is nice. I think she’s awesome and I have no reservations when it comes to declaring my infatuation for her.

So, you can probably imagine my reaction when news broke that there was an Emma Stone sex tape out there, somewhere. Kinda went something like this:

Yeah.

What I’ve been able to gather from the gossip sites is that there’s an alleged sex tape featuring a young Emma Stone — pre-fame, probably before Superbad and Easy A, and definitely before she was “the perfect combination of sexy and cute” in Crazy, Stupid Love. And said sex tape is probably being shopped by supposed sex tape co-star and current luckiest guy alive. Man, I wish I were that dude…

Anyways, here’s some pics of the lovely Emma Stone to whet your appetites. Before you go off looking for them on your own.

Sums up Emma Stone’s appeal in a nutshell — fun and sexy all at the same time

Look at this pic and try not to fall in love

Blonde or redhead, she’s just got that “Mmmm”

If a back could be sexy, I think I might’ve found it

Those lips scream “I will use your penis as a fake mic and tell you dick jokes all day”

Get me that sextape! I want it

More pics of Hollywood’s favorite sweetheart after the jump.

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How Bubba The Love Sponge Used Heather Clem To Extort Money From Best Friend Hulk Hogan

Posted on October 19, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Watcha gonna do when your best friend’s wife tries extorting you? Brother

Hulk Hogan lost his wife. His best friend. And his dignity when footage of his sextape with Heather Clem hit the internets. And this was several years after he spent the duration of his adult life parading around America in a feathered boa and bright yellow spandex shorts.

Who needs friends when you’ve got sex partners and extortionists?

Now, news is coming out that Heather Clem, the ex-wife of his best friend, Bubba the Love Sponge, secretly filmed more of her sexcapades with other men. But what is not so implicitly implied in that statement is that her ex-husband, Bubba the Love Sponge, liked to watch. Then once Bubba got bored of the sometime secretly recorded footage, he’d probably, most likely, use said footage to extort money from his celebrity friends.

Such was the case with The Hulkster.

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I Knew I Should’ve Signed Up For That Zumba Class With Alexis Wright When I Had The Chance (NSFW)

Posted on October 10, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Just what the hell is Zumba?

And why haven’t I been made aware of the fact that it’s just code for “sex”? Expect enrollment in Zumba classes to shoot up once this story’s over.

In the quiet suburb of Kennebunk, Maine, Alexis Wright was running the best Zumba class ever. She was, of course, very popular with the local community. Not only was her fitness class a great way to have a little fun while shedding some unwanted pounds, but it also served as a front to her not-so-secret escort service.

Maine’s Everyone’s favorite Zumba instructor, Alexis Wright (29) and her business partner, Mark Strong Sr. (57), were charged with 106(!) counts of prostitution, violation of privacy, and tax evasion, among other things, when investigators bust down the doors to her Pura Vida studio and discovered not only meticulous records of her “appointments” but also over 100 hours of video. And 14,000(!!!) screenshots — but who jerks off to pictures anymore, amirite?

Yes, apparently Alexis Wright was indeed a pornstar. Because obviously, filming yourself having sex most definitely makes you an amateur pornstar. Or at least a part-time pornstar. Or in this case a prostitute.

“I took Alexis Wright’s class and then told all my friends about it”

FYI #@$%ing with NoRubbers made that John’s dick bigger

This was taken from the video where she sticks a popsicle up her pussy

Zumba does look like it keeps the body fit

More pics of the best Zumba instructor ever after the jump (NSFW).

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