Florida is that state where things like sex scandals and idiots in politics rarely make the national news. Mainly because it’s likely to be no big deal.
But Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll doesn’t look like a lesbian
Gawker is reporting that Florida’s Lt. Governor, Jennifer Carroll, has been accused of receiving oral sex from a former travel aide in her office.
That travel aide is nowhere to be found. On Google Search.
The slightly arousing but mostly meh accusations come from Carletha Cole, a former employee of Lt. Governor Carroll who says she caught the Lt. Governor in a very compromising position.
In a letter provided to a local paper by a polygraph examiner, Cole:
“observed the lieutenant governor sitting at the desk with her foot up on the cadenza [sic] and her skirt hiked up. Beatrice Ramos was kneeling in front of Carroll, poised as if she (Ramos) was about to or had performed oral sex on the Lieutenant Governor.”
Quick, imagine that for a second.
Now, ask yourself how do you possibly defend yourself from accusations as detailed as that?
Well, this is how Lt. Governor Carroll responded:
“My husband doesn’t want to hear that. He knows the type of woman I am. I mean, my kids know the type of woman I am. For twenty-nine years—I’m the one that’s married for twenty-nine years. The accuser is the one that’s been single for a long time. So usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.”
Man, you just gotta love Florida. Deny it to the very end, Jenn! Deny, deny, deny!
Posted in Headliners
Tagged Beatrice Ramos, Carletha Cole, crazy stupid news, Florida, gay sex, Jennifer Carroll, lesbian, lesbian sex, Lt. Governor, news, Oral sex, politician, politics, Republican, sex, sex scandal
Last night, CNN aired what promises to be the first, and twenlfth, of many more ridiculously stupid debates amongst the many ridiculously stupid Republican 2012 candidates. Woot.
Technically, you are still in the running to be America's Next Top Model, I mean, President
The debate focused primarily on national security and foreign policy. Most of the candidates failed miserably — because when put together, they share half a brain. If these bozos are the best the G.O.P. can trot out come 2012, well then, Republicans are as dumb as they sound. In between the harping, the hemming and hawing, and the flip-flopping, I came up with a cheat sheet to help me keep track of just who the hell I was watching.
GOP Candidates for 2012
1. Newt Gingrich
Former Speaker of The House and the clear leader after last night’s debate considering he sounded the most polished and coherent out of all the possible candidates (which looks to be pretty easy). His “humane” stance on immigrants will draw some ire, but he’s got the right approach. Just sit quietly and say something smart when called upon — a strategy that worked wonders throughout my school years. I’ve honestly got nothing bad to say about him. Not even his name bothers me… Okay, if there’s one thing I can pick at it’s gotta be his weight. We can’t have a pudgy faced President. No sir, time to put down the Butterfingers and hit the elliptical, chubbs.
2. Herman Cain
A businessman from Georgia who made his name and fortune by building a vast pizza empire in the Midwest, Herman Cain knows how to make money by selling what I assume to be terrible pizza. He shot up through the polls and by mid-October was the lead nominee, but a swath of sexual harassment charges and continually poor showings in televised debates have slowed his roll. You’d think someone who has the talent to sing like an angel would be better equipped to argue with idiots.
3. Michele Bachmann
God, is this bitch annoying. She might be smarter than Sarah Palin, but only by a smidgen. And she doesn’t have the redeeming quality of sexy glasses to save her. I can’t even watch this trick on mute! She’s dumb and very confrontational. Notice how fast she was ready to jump down Romney’s throat or into Huntman’s pants. She’s got no shame, which kind of explains why she’s slipping in the polls. Also doesn’t help that she wants to bomb the entire Middle East, starting with Pakistan and Iran. When will Republicans learn that they should leave the talking to the men?
4. Rick Santorum
Google his name. Then remember he hates immigrants and supports racial profiling. Google his name again. Then laugh because he hates gays. Those gays, they’re a spiteful bunch aren’t they?
Posted in Lesson Learned
Tagged civil liberties, CNN, conservatives, debate, foreign policy, G.O.P., gays, guns, Herman Cain, human rights, immigration, Jon Huntsman, Lesson Learned, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Mormon, national security, Newt Gingrich, pizza, politician, politico, politics, polls, Republican, Republican Debate, Republicans, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, rights, Ron Paul
Next year’s election promises to be a real doozy. With Barack Obama already getting unjustly assaulted for his lack of job creation, the G.O.P. is gearing up for one long and nasty mudslinging extravaganza!
Luckily for us apathetic voters, the Republicans are pulling out all the stops. Meet Tea Party member and Presidential hopeful Michelle Bachman — recent winner of the Iowa Ames Straw Poll. What exactly is the Iowa Ames Straw Poll? You tell me. I’ve got no #@$%ing idea! But what I do know is that The G.O.P. has got a new lady candidate (move over Palin!) and I’d
definitely do her…
So long as she doesn’t open her mouth.
Michele Bachmann — Would you…with no rubbers?
Posted in Would You Wednesday
Tagged 2012 campaign, babes, candidate, chick, crazy eyes, empowering females, G.O.P., hot, hottie, Iowa Ames Straw Poll, Michele Bachmann, powerful women, Presidential nominee, Republican, Republicans, Tea Party, Would You Wednesday, Would You With No Rubbers?
Why is it that Republicans are always caught up in seedy sex scandals? Is it because they’re all sexually depraved hypocritical perverts? Did all those years praying in church pews not teach them anything? Or are they just really good at getting caught?
jacked from Gawker
Former Republican Congressman (NY) Christopher Lee has been outed as a sexual deviant. Gawker reports that Mr. Lee has been caught up in a cheating scandal with a craigslist
whore slut empowered female who asked to be unidentified. Now usually this type of thing doesn’t get on the news, but Mr. Lee told said snitch that he was divorced — which is a problem considering he’s “happily married”. His defense?
“I’ve been hacked.”
Posted in Headliners
Tagged caught cheating, cheating spouse, Christopher Lee, congressmen, craigslist, Craigslist Congressman, deviant, Gawker, GOP, perverse, pervert, pervs, politician, politico, politics, Republican, scandal, sex scandal, sexting, sexual deviant, slut, snitch, whores
This is how most of the GOP
probably most definitely sees Barack Obama spending his weekends in D.C. Hanging out with a bunch of his goons mean-mugging for the cameras. Fear is alive and well, nation.