Last night was the 60th annual Miss USA Pageant. Miss California won.
Let me just say that it was a blast watching not 1… not 2… but 51 stick-figure thin broads prance around my television screen, smiling their pearly white smiles and batting their perfectly long lashes, all in an attempt to get in my pants. I really felt a connection with some of them. Particularly Miss Hawaii (Angela Byrd). Hey boo, call me if you know what’s good for you.
Watching the live broadcast from Las Vegas, I couldn’t help but wonder out loud, what would become of these girls? Seriously.
There’s your lesson for today. Finding out that you’re eskimo brothers with someone not only reinforces the notion that most women will fuck your friends, but it strengthens the bonds between men. Just ask these guys.
Ray J & Reggie Bush.
Both banged Kim KardASShian.
Diddy & Ben Affleck.
Both boned J.Lo.
Kanye West, Amar’e Stoudemire, & Wiz Khalifa.
All three #@$%ed Amber Rose. Probably not at the same time.
You guys noticing a trend here? Looks like being a rapper means sharing more than just the same drug dealer. I change my underwear more often than these guys change chicks. C’mon, man!
Unfortunately not all Eskimo Brothers get along. This one turned deadly.
The torture continued on The Jersey Shore as Ronnie and Sam dominated the episode with the same old song and dance. “Should we stay together?” “Should we break up?” Wahh! Wahh! Pass me another fried pickle and get on with it. Crazy Ronnie is much more entertaining anyway, because it leads to anal probes and bloody stool.
Fortunately (or unfortunately?) NASTY never had anything stuck up his ass without his full consent down in Seaside.
Last night’s Jersey Shore featured some great domestic violence action courtesy of, who else, Ronnie and Sam. Clearly the Jersey Shore can bring out the absolute worst of people and last night proved that point. So when you start with degenerative scum, it’s only right that they transform themselves into debaucherous shitshows.
NASTY continues his journey towards accomplishing just that.