I recently decided that I would make a concerted effort to quit smoking.
Many of my friends applauded the move. I lasted about half a day before I gave in and smoked an entire pack in less than 9 hours. It was as expected — awesome. But I immediately regretted it. And haven’t smoked one since.
It’s now been 2 whole days without a cigarette touching my lips. I’d like to think it was because of my strong will and determination. But I’ll be the first to admit that these anti-smoking ads I’ve come across have been incredibly helpful.
Here are two anti-smoking ads that my friends have shared with me:
Smoking can be bad for your health?
Why does he have to be shirtless?
While those ads have been eye-openers (your lungs can clean themselves?), there’s one that’s been a huge help in my fight to quit. It’s been real inspiring.
Wow, #@$% smoking!
I am above the influence.
Posted in Features
Tagged add inches, anti-drug, anti-smoking, bogies, calling it quits, cancer, cigarettes, health risks, health warning, heart disease, lung cancer, penis, photoshop, quit smoking, quits, spliffs, stogies, throat cancer, tobacco
In a society where celebrities are worshiped on an almost daily basis, it’s inevitable that we run into stories about their intense romances, perfect marriages, and/or their alleged affairs. It makes for great gossip and has spawned an entire industry.
Luckily for you I don’t imbibe in that sort of childish folly.
Why? Because making up shit is so much more fun. Let’s take all the famous people in the news lately and match them up! It’s like Millionaire Matchmaker without the orange Jew.
She hooks up awful people with other awful people
These Famous Celebrities Should Totally Hook Up
Lin gets it in.
1. Jeremy Lin & Kate Upton. Now this would just be Lin-sane! The newest cover model of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue going out with the baller who just might save the Knicks? Not only would this hook-up be amazing for the entire Asian population, but just imagine all the hoopla surrounding this imaginary power couple? Then the Lin-sanity could really begin. A Harvard Grad with NBA range going out with one of the youngest yet most popular models in the game right now? Shit, it might actually prove that some models do have enough brains to hold a conversation.
Pow! Pow! Pow!
2. Chris Brown & Lindsay Lohan. Yes, I know what most of you are thinking, “How could you give up on boo-boo like that?”. I know. It’s hard to imagine my favorite cokehead with anyone else but me, but this may be good for both celebs. The entire public wants to slap some sense into Lohan and Chris just wants to slap a ho. So, why not? Breezy gets a girl he can practice his right hook on and LiLo gets to stay in the news. It’s a win-win for the both of them.
Smell mommy's pits.
3. Demi Moore & Justin Bieber. This was just too easy. Demi Moore is a cradle robber and continues to spiral downward since divorcing Bruce Willis, a real man’s man. So it shouldn’t be too hard to imagine her with everyone’s favorite baby-faced singer. While Justin may never leave Selena Gomez, I’m pretty sure Demi could pull out her Striptease moves and still bring the ruckus.
Hut! Hut! Hike!
4. Tim Tebow & Kim Kardashian. Oh, you didn’t know Kim Kardashian has a thing for athletes? While Kim Kardashian has dated numerous athletes ranging from very talented to not so talented, there’s no denying that she comes from a long line of jersey chasers (see: Kris Jenner, Khloe Kardashian). So why not pair her up with the most polarizing athlete of our generation? Tim Tebow would allow Kim the opportunity to never ever leave the spotlight and if they ever break up he may just become a better quarterback (see: Reggie Bush, Miles Austin, Kris Humphries).
Now all of these are just, you know, hypotheticals. I’m not saying they can happen, but I’m definitely not saying they can’t happen. Love is a strange thing and who knows, maybe the Hollywood machine can manufacture some chance encounters between some of these potential mates and watch the sparks fly. Otherwise we’ll end up with these bitter bitches:
Broken hearts make for great music
Posted in Charting The Stars
Tagged Adele, athletes, celebrity, celebrity news, celebs, Chart, Chris Brown, dating, Demi Moore, famous people, gossip, hook-up, hypotheticals, Jeremy Lin, Justin Bieber, Kate Upton, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, love, Millionaire Matchmaker, models, Patti Stanger, photoshop, relationships, Rihanna, tabloids, Taylor Swift, Tim Tebow
Universal Studios, home of such classics as Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins, Step Up, and Death Race, is hopping on the reboot train that’s been rampaging through Hollywood in recent years — since, I guess, no one can come up with an original idea anymore.
In an announcement, confirmed by Deadline, Universal is prepping a reboot of the gangster classic Scarface (1983). Scarface, if you didn’t already know, was actually a remake of the original gangster classic Scarface (1932). But while Universal denies it is a straight remake or sequel, they do readily admit that it will tell the story of one immigrant’s violent rise to the top of the American underworld. So yeah, the latest Scarface is actually going to be a remake of a remake. And yes, Hollywood execs are as dumb as you think.
To make things easier for these numb-nuts let’s make a mockery of the whole thing by offering them some new ideas on how to re-imagine the Tony Montana character (who was originally from Cuba):
1. Tony Montana from France:
Say bonjour to my wittle ami!
2. Tony Montana from Israel:
Uh, hi. I'd like to introduce you to my, uh, friend, ah, little friend.
3. Tony Montana from the rice paddy fields:
Ah so, ah so. Say herro to my rittle friend.
Posted in On Your Ass
Tagged Al Pacino, Brian De Palma, criminal, Deadline, drug dealers, drug dealing, drugs, Howard Hawks, Howard Hughes, idiots, immigrant, movie business, movies, Oliver Stone, Paul Muni, photoshop, re-hash, re-imagine, reboot, remake, Scarface, suits, Tony Montana, Universal Studios
Kate Middleton will make a great wife to
Prince Duke William. Not only does she know how to light up a room with her grace and elegance, but she knows exactly what’s expected of her, and all women for that matter, in today’s modern world.
Thank you, Kate Middleton
But what would a future queen be if she weren’t friendly with public figures?
Here she is with President Obama.
"I give great thank you speeches."
The future queen must know her sports. Intimately.
Here she is with NFL quarterback Peyton Manning.
"Don't make me call an audible."
Here she is with golf’s greatest
playa player Tiger Woods.
"Celebratory fist pump!"
She must also be willing to do whatever it takes to bring us World Peace.
Here she is with MLK, Nelson Mandela, and Kim Jong Il.
"I had a dream."
Posted in Epinions
Tagged blowjob, empowering females, fellatio, funny, funny pic, inappropriate, internet meme, Jenna Jameson, Justin Bieber, Kate Middleton, Kim Jong-Il, Martin Luther King Jr., meme, MLK, Nelson Mandela, on your knees, Oprah, Peyton Manning, photos, photoshop, pics, pop, pop culture, pop star, porn star, powerful women, President Obama, Prince William, Royal Wedding, royalty, sports, Thank You Kate Middleton, Tiger Woods, World Leaders, World Peace