Goddamn, were there a bunch of hot celebrities at the Met Gala or what? Definitely way more hotties than I had originally thought. And definitely way more than the site I vultured all of my pics from had.
So, here’s a whole buttload boatload of even more celebrities (dressed to the nines) at the Met Gala this past Monday night in New York City.
The former Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr looking like she don’t care
The very underrated Nina Dobrev came out looking like a million bucks
It seems like all the hot celebs were at Coachella this past weekend.
While you were in Bumblefuck, Nowhere, this happened
Man, I wish I had money to fly out to Southern California for a three-day outdoor music festival whenever the #@$% I wanted. It must be nice knowing that you can do that whenever you want. Maybe… Maybe I should just move out West. Yeah, that’d be cool because the East Coast usually has to wait until the summer before we can start thinking about enjoying our music in outdoor venues. And all these pictures of celebrities in short shorts and leather boots make me wish it was August already. So, #@$% you, California. You and your sun and your girls… #@$% you.
You want to know why our country's in the shitter? Because we have the #VMA and #DNC and #FNO on the same night. Too many damn acronyms.— pudge NASTY (@NoRubbersTV) September 07, 2012
It’s probably true. But my growing concern for the future well-being of our great nation did not deter me from flipping back and forth from CNN and MTV last night. Because wherever there are broads to fap to, I am there.
And there were a lot of broads at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Unfortunately, too many of them were dressed conservatively. Like it was all planned well ahead of time as part of some huge conspiracy to wear as many pantsuits and long sleeved gowns as possible. What the hell happened to dressing like a trashy whore? C’mon! I think I saw more skin at the DNC than I did at the VMAs.
So, to teach them a lesson I’m going to rate each one. On how much I would like to bone them. Scores will be in “( )” <— (Haha… that looks like a vagina).
Rating The Broads At The 2012 MTV VMAs
Expected more but I guess this will do (10)
Nicki, you need to stop dressing like a Sesame Street character (10)
Zoe Saldana is much too talented to be at the VMAs (10)
The first pantsuit of the evening (10)
Emma Watson, are you on shrooms? (10)
This might have been the sluttiest look of the night — disappointing Katy Perry (10)
Jessica Szohr is not famous but she looks good sans headband (10)
More celebs to judge as wantonly as possible after the jump.
Katy Perry was at the San Dimas Raging Water water park this past weekend. Just hanging out with her friends and having fun. Ya know, like any other normal person.
But unlike most normal people, Katy Perry has huge tits that got her famous. Those tits were not on display when the waves ripped down her bikini bottom in spectacular fashion. And while the crowd that gathered got a great view, I’m pretty sure if you asked any one of them they all came away disappointed that they didn’t quite get whatthey we are all hoping for. Which are her exposed tits.
Katy Perry is the ultimate tease
Katy Perry knows how to protect her puppies
Pics of Katy Perry’s bare ass after the jump down the water slide.
Last night America watched the 2012 Grammy Awards in hopes of seeing and hearing something they haven’t experienced before. Most of us changed the channel before they got to the Whitney Houston tribute. For those of you who stuck out long enough to watch Adele win more awards than she’s got arms, I commend you. There was no way I was going to sit comfortably on my couch and watch any more than I needed to. Thankfully, I saw just enough to make a list of Grammy performers I’d totally bang.
2012 Grammy Performers I’d Totally Bang
1. Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift & The Farm Hands
Stop acting so surprised!
There, that's more like it. Act like you been there before.
What a doll. I could honestly watch her sing about boys and strum her guitar with her massively long arms for hours half an hour. She’s cute as all hell and she’s supremely talented. I mean, if I had hands as big as hers I don’t think I’d be able to all the things she’s done in her career because I’d be way too self-conscious. +1 for inviting the entire farm. -1 for not dancing.
2. Katy Perry
"Whoo! I'm an alien!"
"Whoo! Space! Plastic! Blue Hair! I'm out there!"
Bitch, what the #@$% are you wearing? You some crazed superhero now? I’ve put up with a lot of crazy pop princesses in my lifetime and right now I just can’t handle another. Blue hair? Fine. Plastic Xena costume? You’ve gone too far… Put on something that accentuates your best assets — like a deep plunging neckline. You know, to best show off your tits. Then just stand on stage and dance suggestively. I don’t want to hear you sing about your ex-husband and how he didn’t take his half of your money. I already figured he was retarded.
I’ll be in California for the week and what better way to honor “The Golden State” than by imagining the terrible things you’d do to Katy Perry. From failed Gospel singer to hardcore Pop princess, Katy Perry and her twins have come a long way and deserve whatever sick reward your dirty minds can think of.