Tag Archives: hot body

Jessica Alba Went Medieval To Get Her Perfect Body Back

Posted on April 26, 2013 by | 1 Comment

Jessica Alba may just be the perfect woman.

And like the perfect woman, she’s somehow found a way to maintain her figure after not one, but two pregnancies. But now her little secret is out of the bag after   this interview with Net-a-Porter Magazine:

The secret, it turns out, is a girdle. Two, in fact.

“It was brutal; it’s not for everyone,” she qualifies. “I wore a double corset day and night for three months. It was sweaty, but worth it.”

And judging by these pictures, all of America would agree.

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Did you know that Jessica Alba is allergic to grass? It’s true

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Anyone else interested in going halfsies with me on her sweaty corsets?

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“Quick, someone brush that dirt off Jessica Alba’s ass,” said everyone

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Cowboy boots and denim shorts – great choice

If I were remaking Weird Science, Jessica Alba would be my number one choice to star as the woman that the two horny junior high schoolers made out of spare parts and some John Hughes magic. But I’m not remaking Weird Science, so (insert shrug).

More pics of hot mommy Jessica Alba after the jump.

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Pics Of Irina Shayk In A Beach Bunny Bikini Make Me Want To Hump Her Like A Horny Rabbit

Posted on April 24, 2013 by | Leave a comment
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Irina Shayk #GoodGod

Supermodel Irina Shayk came busting out onto the whole bikini supermodel scene like a rabbit out of a foxhole. And she hasn’t slowed up her pace one bit.

In fact, she’s been keeping herself busy by showing up to red carpets looking like the most beautiful person in the world while also staking her claim as the hottest WAG in the game right now (she’s dating soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo). And just to make sure that you guys aren’t falling asleep at the wheel, every now and then Irina Shayk will pose for pictures in tiny bikinis - reminding you why she was chosen to be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in 2011.

Her latest photoshoot for Beach Bunny Swimwear is superb.

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Irina Shayk knows how to model

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For someone from Russia, Irina Shayk sure looks comfortable on a beach

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Add another to the list of “Reasons to Hate on Cristiano Ronaldo”

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Way more pics of Irina Shayk in very little clothing after the jump.

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Who In The Hell Is Tulisa Contostavlos And Why Does She Look So Wet

Posted on April 10, 2013 by | Leave a comment
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Tulisa stars in my nightly remakes of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”

I’ve been on real tear lately, stumbling onto scores of mostly unheard of hotties with nice tits and full figures. It’s been a real blessing. And so, to keep the momentum going, I’d like to introduce you to Tulisa Contostavlos. 

She’s a rapper! Or the rough equivalent of what Fergie is to The Black Eyed Peas. But only in the UK, because she hasn’t crossed over. Yet. But I think some British celebrities have what it takes to gain some much needed American exposure. Clearly, Kelly Brook has it. Rosie Jones has it. Even Kate Middleton has it.

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“Tits!”

And she looks great in a bathing suit. So, here she is in a bathing suit poolside. Somewhere in Vegas… Wait, that kind of looks like The Venetian’s pool… Hmph. I once stayed at The Venetian, so that makes like, what, 2 degrees of separation between me and Tulisa, right? Which means we should totally have babies, right? That’s how that game works, right?

More pics of Tulisa Contostavlos and her perfectly thick body after the jump.

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Here’s Knicks Courtside Reporter Jill Martin In A Bikini To Keep The Fantasy Alive For Delusional Knicks Fans

Posted on April 4, 2013 by | 1 Comment

The Knicks have been steamrolling their way through the league as they look to keep the momentum going as they head into the playoffs. And they’ve been doing it by playing defense, making shots, and finally(!) getting healthy.

And speaking of healthy, here’s mighty fine courtside reporter Jill Martin (rocking her Knicks cap!) in a tiny bikini on the beach and at the pool. Normally, I could care less about what cute blondes have to tell me about my sports teams, but Jill Martin I may listen to. Especially if she keeps this streak of bikinis going.

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Jill Martin knows how to wear a Knicks cap — with a bikini

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NEW! YORK! BASKET ~ BALL!

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JIll Martin shouldn’t cover up so much. Let loose!

More pics of Jill Martin and her barely covered funbags after the jump.

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Kate Upton Shows Off Her Goodies For Vogue Germany

Posted on December 5, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Kate Upton should move to Europe. Seriously.

Europe has already proven that they are way better at this sexy photoshoot for a magazine thing than we, Americans, are. So, why not move her to Europe so that the world, and not just America, can bask in the glory in that thine Kate Upton. Seriously, if not for me then for the troops overseas. Because any video where Kate Upton is topless and taking a shot to the face is clearly not made just for me. Unless…

Who else had the exact same nasty thought I just had?

Who else had the exact same nasty thought I just had?

She likes it. She really likes it!

Clearly, geniuses are out there running Vogue Germany

Look closely and you can see that this dress was made by a pervert

Look closely and you can see that this dress was made by a pervert

I <3 you Kate Upton

Am I being delusional? Because this is exactly how I imagine meeting Kate Upton

More pics of screenshots of Kate Upton after the jump.

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Chrissy Teigen Is The New Pair Of Tits And Ass, I Mean Face, For Beach Bunny Swimwear

Posted on December 5, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Chrissy Teigen is a funny chick. How could I possibly know that, you ask? Twitter.

And she’s also good at tweeting pics of food, which I usually despise, but when it’s coming from a swimsuit model I usually let it slide. Because it’s helpful knowing that she can eat like a normal person and still look amazing.

Guilt trip. @brooklyndecker @andyroddick

So, the next time you run into a fat chick complaining how she can’t lose weight, you show her Chrissy Teigen in a tiny bikini and ask, “Why the #@$% can’t you be more like her? WHY?!”

Yeah, your life could be better so look over these pics of Chrissy Teigen as the new face (and tits!) of Beach Bunny Swimwear and wonder what life must be like as John Legend. Her husband. Her very lucky, very talented husband.

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We just ordinary people

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Yeah, I’m staring right at your ass. Whatchu gonna do?

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“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you just bite my ass?”

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“Nice bikini, right?”

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The frills

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You see Chrissy Teigen, I see future wifey

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From the back, it’s hard to tell the difference between Chrissy Teigen and Thai hooker

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Lordy, that’s a great ass. I take that back

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“Night, night. Ninjas”

See more Chrissy Teigen in her Beach Bunny bikini collection after the jump.

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