Tag Archives: happy birthday

Happy Birthday Mr. President

Posted on August 4, 2011 by | Leave a comment

Make a wish!

President Barack Obama turns 50 today.

Obama’s birthday comes days after signing off on the new Debt Ceiling Deal. Republicans, after years of throwing our tax dollars into the wind and making it rain on them hoes, have somehow escaped all blame and agreed to substantial cuts which should help ease our economic woes. It’s all pretty simple:

Spend less, Save more > Spend more, Save less

But let’s not talk politics. Let’s get back to celebrating the life of a man married to the best looking woman in politics. Having to clean up the worst 8 years in American history is not an easy job. It’s nerve-racking, thankless, and most likely a cause for a lot of unwanted gray hairs. Obama hasn’t aged particularly well these past three years — which, at the very least, means he’s working, right?

Happy birthday Mr. President!

And now a gallery of Barack Obama looking pretty badass:

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Would You Wednesday

Posted on June 8, 2011 by | 1 Comment

Anna Kournikova was tennis’s sweetheart long before Maria Sharapova, Ana Ivanovic, and Caroline Wozniacki. She has done more for the sport than all those ladies combined. And yet she never won. That’s how freakin’ hot she was. Throw in the shameless moaning and grunting, and we’ve got ourselves a real winner. Anna Kournikova has done more for female athletes than Billy Jean King.

Yeah, I said it.

Happy belated Anna. She turned 30 yesterday.

Anna Kournikova — Would you…with no rubbers?

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Happy Birthday Dear Leader

Posted on February 16, 2011 by | Leave a comment

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il turns 69 today. Seems like only yesterday that he was born atop the sacred Baekdu Mountain on the wings of flying unicorns before sliding down a rainbow to lead his people into Third World supremacy… Time sure flies when you’re building a nuclear weapon.

Commemorating the day he ejected from his mother’s vagina 69 years ago, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea will be holding their 15th annual Kimjongilia Festival for all its countrymen to revel in the glory that is Kim Jong-Illin’.

Illin' like a villian

Korean News Service reports that some “colorful events” will be taking place at the Kimilsungia-Kimjongilia Exhibition. Flowers, soldiers, guns, warheads, tanks, and schoolchildren will be on hand for the extravagant display of greatness. In a country where people are literally starving for a speck of rice, at least the world will know:

Ain’t no party like a North Korean party! Woot! Woot!

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Happy Birthday Kim K!

Posted on October 22, 2010 by | Leave a comment

Yesterday was Kim KardASShian’s 30th birthday. So happy belated!

Birthday Suit!

She swore off posing sexy from now on… Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. ‘Cause, you know, she’s technically “over the hump” now. Did someone say hump?

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