This week’s episode was simply amazing. There were a lot of boobs.
But sadly, according to the New York Post and Oona ”Ms. Fine Booty” Chaplin, a series regular will no longer be appearing in any more nude scenes because she wants to be known for “her acting and not her breasts”. The New York Post suggests that it might be the often undressed Emilia Clarke… um, except that… (“Spoiler Alert!!!”) Emilia Clarke totally got naked and showed us her tits and ass.
So, hooray! On to the boobs!
But first a word from our sponsors (“Hooked on Phonics worked for me!”).
Game of Thrones: Boobs Recap
Season 3 Episode 8
Arya wakes up after a night filled with wonderful dreams of knives being thrust into the back of Joffrey’s stupid head and sees a rock which she wants to use to bash The Hound’s face in with. But, while on horseback with her captor, she realizes that maybe things will turn around. And with that sort of optimism, we start our journey through The Seven Kingdoms.
After a quick visit to The Onion Knight, we finally get an awful idea of what Melisandre has up her sleeves concerning Gendry’s King Blood. And it’s not good. But Gendry’s got the King’s Blood running through his veins and wouldn’t you know, he’s got “so much blood”.
Here’s Gendry’s “O-Face” (“For the ladies.”).
But first, what’s a dark scheme without some tits?
Melisandre +1 (“Looks like Melisandre likes it on top.”)
And some leeches??? (“That’s that shit that Gendry don’t like.”).
And for all you critics out there saying that this show is misogynistic and shit, you obviously haven’t met my friend Mero. He’s pretty much how every feminist out there must imagine what a Game of Thrones fan looks like — a total pig.
He’ll grab pussy (“Whenever the #@$% he wants.”).
And slap your cheeks before sending you on your way when he’s done with you.
Naturally, he became my new favorite male character. But Daenerys did not like him so much. And so, while Daenerys was being scrubbed down by her not-slave in a tub (“A nod to her performance on Broadway, perhaps?”), Mero’s head came by for a visit. Courtesy of every female viewer’s new favorite mercenary, Daario Naharis.
And speaking of Daenerys, the character had a great scene where she showed us her tits and ass. The feminists cried foul while the New York Post suggested that this may be her last nude scene. This makes me very sad. Because whenever Emilia Clarke gets naked it is always so much more than just another empty exercise in letting us know how great her tits look.
In fact, if you were to watch that scene again, you’ll see that her naked-ness totally has a subtextual context to it. It’s all about power and how Daenerys never lets her tits get in the way of letting us know how great her tits and ass look.
And if this really is her last nude scene then so be it, because she’s already given us so much.
But of course, the major storyline of this week’s episode was the big wedding (“That didn’t feel big.”) between Tyrion and Sansa. It was certainly entertaining seeing Tyrion get his drunk on. He went through all the stages of drunk (“Without having to drink a 4Loko!”).
While Sansa may one day become a cold bitch because of all the cruel shit she’s been through, no one does ice queen quite as good as Cersei (“No one.”).
Also, raise your hands if you think that Sam is finally gonna get some from Gilly?
U mad bro?
source= Uproxx, Photoshop