Tag Archives: football player

Would You Wednesday (NSFW)

Smile! You’re taking a mugshot!

This may be it for Chad Johnson.

After being arrested Saturday night on domestic violence charges, Chad Johnson was released by the Miami Dolphins less than 24 hours later. Chad Johnson’s career looks to be on life support as training camps are very much well under way while his legal troubles may just be starting. His chances of landing on another team may be close to zero.

Chad Johnson & Evelyn Lozada during much happier times

And he can thank his wife of 41 days for all the drama. After meeting and marrying VH1′s reality TV star, Evelyn Lozada, the former Mrs. Antoine Walker, things seemed to be picking up for the wideout formerly known as Ochocinco. But like all affairs that start off on the internets, they met on twitter, these type of relationships can turn sour pretty damn fast.

But when the media found out that Chad Johnson was being charged with headbutting his wife after she discovered a receipt for “the most expensive box of condoms ever“, well Evelyn Lazada suddenly became my favorite gold-digger. She knows to #@$% with NoRubbers!

Evelyn Lozada — Would you…with no rubbers?

Oh, and it certainly helped that she’s got some nudes floating around.

Hit the jump for more (NSFW).

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Tyrann Mathieu Has A Cooler Nickname And Bigger Cock Than You (NSFW)

Tyrann Mathieu is an all-purpose football player for the LSU Tigers. He can play offense, he can play defense, he scores touchdowns, he returns punts, he forces fumbles, he grabs interceptions, and he can do pretty much anything else you need done on the football field. It’s why he’s currently a Heisman Trophy finalist. Players like him need cool nicknames.

Which is probably why he’s got the coolest nickname in all of college football — “Honey Badger”.

Honey Badger for Heisman

Oh and he probably #@$%ed LSU’s Women’s Soccer Team goalkeeper.

With his monster cock. Why would I think that? Because he’s a football player and she’s a soccer player, presumably, with a vagina. It happens.

If you don’t spend your afternoons scouring the internets for dong shots, you must not know that Tyrann Mathieu’s dong shots were unleashed onto the public after a twitter war with an ex that the Honey Badger would not leave alone. Again:

Honey Badger still don't give a shit

Hit the jump for pics (via MediaTakeOut).

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Would You Wednesday

Tim Tebow just cannot lose. Coming into the league, he had everything questioned and dissected by the scouts — his throwing motion, his football IQ, his success playing in a spread offense. But the one thing critics could not predict was how Tim Tebow would walk into a cluster#@$% of a QB controversy and win like it was his God-given right.

Tim Tebow should have been aborted. But thankfully for Denver Bronco fans, Tim Tebow’s mother #@$%s with no rubbers and believes in Jesus Christ. (Tebow’s mom might also believe in not breaking the law)

Tim Tebow’s Mom — Would you… with no rubbers?

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We Want Football

In a year when greed won over playing for the love of the game, we have quarterback Cam Newton being drafted No. 1 overall by the Carolina Panthers. Indeed, crime does pay — to the tune of $55 million guaranteed.

But wait there’s more! NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell gets booed.

5½ Things You Should Probably Know About The NFL Lockout

If there's grass on the field, play ball

On the eve of the NFL’s annual slave auction Draft, Judge Susan Nelson has denied the NFL’s request for a stay on her ruling — essentially saying that the lockout is illegal and that the new league year should commence as soon as possible. What does this mean for fans? No one really knows!

I just spent an entire SportsCenter watching Adam Schefter, Chris Mortensen, and John “Egghead” Clayton arguing over whether or not this means that the “Madden Curse” is still in effect. Ridonkulous?! ESPN didn’t do themselves any favors by showcasing yet another verbal spat between Mel Kiper and Todd McShay over the proper pronunciation of Prince Amukamara’s name. Hey assholes, just tell me who the Giants are drafting and how fast their 40 time was. Is this what we’re going to miss out on with an NFL lockout?

Five and a half things you should probably know:

1. Just because the league year starts today, doesn’t mean it starts today. Only in America can a court rule that shit starts at some specified time to then watch it be delayed for another 2-7 days as it deals with pending appeals and more legal jibber-jabber. Teams are supposedly free to trade players and sign free agent, but that doesn’t mean that they will. Believe me, the NFL had no plans of starting league operations this soon on the eve of the draft since all hands on deck will be in the war room concentrated on the draft — where cheap talent can be had by calling first dibs.

Judge Nelson don't play that

2. Judge Susan Nelson ain’t #@$%ing around. No means no to Judge Susan Nelson. She’s been pretty consistent in her rulings, mostly siding with the players in her demands that owners make a more concerted effort in negotiating with the Players’ Union. With the NFLPA decertified and the League no longer safeguarded from monopoly law — which it enjoys only if there is a collective bargaining agreement — this could mean that NFL is staring down the barrel of a sawed-off shotty. Judge Susan Nelson is Omar. Goodell is Cheese. What’s up.

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Packers Win Super Bowl XLV

Coulda used another wardrobe malfunction in all honesty.