Politicians, as far as I’m concerned, are a different kind of species. Slimy, reptilian, self-serving embodiment of the lowest form of humanity. I trust your average councilman as far as I can throw ‘em, and I throw like a 3rd grade girl.
Schwarzenegger. Weiner. Osama Bin Laden. The IMF. The Kennedys. Berlusconi. The Craigslist Congressman.
Seems like politicians just can’t keep their dicks zipped up. So, with the political climate as scandalous as ever, let’s revisit the many sexual missteps that those we’ve elected to represent our best interests have made.
Eliot Spitzer 
“As New York State Attorney General, I was a relentless basset hound when it came to uncovering the underhanded number games that fueled what would become the financial crisis. My work busting down white collar criminals eventually won me the opportunity to serve as Governor — for 14 months. Apparently, the bad guys don’t take too kindly to you stealing a taste of their girls before indicting them with embezzlement.”
Hookers & Johns
John Edwards 
“You may remember me from such catastrophes as the Democratic Primaries of 2004 and 2008. One failure just wasn’t enough for me. I am from South Carolina, after all. See, down here in the Dirty South, there’s no such thing as an honest politician. Why I left my cancer-riddled wife of 33 years for this hot piece of ass. Yup, my claim to fame will always be that of the most despicable man on the face of the earth – with questionable taste in mistresses. And now I’m getting prosecuted for taking campaign money to keep my damn mistress quiet!”
... for that.
Left this...
Bill Clinton 
“I was the 42nd President of the United States and oversaw an incredible period of economic growth and prosperity. During my years in office, America held the mantle of “The Most Powerful Country in the World”. You’re welcome. I finally figured out what to do with your interns. You’re welcome. I also helped Americans understand the difference between sexual relations and third base. You’re welcome. Again.”
Thomas Jefferson 
“I am the originator of the politics of sleaze. As a Founding Father and the 3rd President of the United States, I helped erect this great country of ours. That is whenever I had some free time left over after raping my slaves. Gives new meaning to the term sex slave, don’t it. I wasn’t the first and I certainly won’t be the last political figure to be ousted as an interracial aficionado. I made it okay to screw the help, as long as you kept the bastard children in the back and away from the wives. So, I like my women black — just like my morning coffee. If it wasn’t for me there would be no Mardi Gras titties in yo’ face!”
Founding Father of Interracial
the chronic fornicator
pudge NASTY
