Tag Archives: David Arquette

Dancing With The Kinda-Sorta Stars

Last night ABC released the roster for their upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars. It’s kind of a big deal. Has been for a while now really. A cheap and fun way for pseudo-stars to remain in the limelight before their star fades away into obscurity. There’s a lot of attractive people on the list, and I want to #@$% some of ‘em, but you already know that.

I want to know out of the list, who would you want to #@$%?

• David Arquette?
• J.R. Martinez (Uh, who?)?
• Carson Kressley (Uh, what’d you call me?)
• Rob Kardashian (There’s another Kardashian?)?
• Chaz Bono (Dude looks like a lady. Oh shit, dude is a lady)?

I’m not into dudes but these next contestants can all get it. And I’ve doled out the odds in accordance to their chances of winning… or on how much I want to bang ‘em.

Judge for yourself.

Nancy Grace 1:150 odds

Chynna Phillips 1:50 odds

Ricki Lake 1:25 odds

Kristin Cavallari 1:2 odds

Elisabetta Cannalis 1:1 odds

Hope Solo 1:1 odds

Put a gun to my head and I have to say that Ron Artest Metta World Peace is gonna win the whole shebang.

Call me Metta World Peace -- Look at those arms!