North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il turns 69 today. Seems like only yesterday that he was born atop the sacred Baekdu Mountain on the wings of flying unicorns before sliding down a rainbow to lead his people into Third World supremacy… Time sure flies when you’re building a nuclear weapon.
Commemorating the day he ejected from his mother’s vagina 69 years ago, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea will be holding their 15th annual Kimjongilia Festival for all its countrymen to revel in the glory that is Kim Jong-Illin’.
Korean News Service reports that some “colorful events” will be taking place at the Kimilsungia-Kimjongilia Exhibition. Flowers, soldiers, guns, warheads, tanks, and schoolchildren will be on hand for the extravagant display of greatness. In a country where people are literally starving for a speck of rice, at least the world will know:
Ain’t no party like a North Korean party! Woot! Woot!