“Kenny, I kneel before you as a man begging a much better man, to please let me stay here and join you on this Hispanic adventure.”
Chapter 8 begins with a bang. Literally. We fade in on loyal disciple Stevie Janowski (Steve Little) boning a prostitute in hopes of walking a mile in Kenny Powers’s shoes. And tonight just happened to be in “a pair of comfy black boots”. Oh Stevie, how I missed thee. And apparently I wasn’t the only one, as Kenny Powers welcomes him back with a bullet to the shin.
Chapter 8 was all about joining a team. You know like Team CoCo… Last week, we saw Kenny’s hodge-podge crew of miscreants tell Kenny to go fuck himself once their meal-ticket died a bloody death in the ring. This week we see that even a bad-ass motherfucker like Kenny Powers needs a support system to lean on.
Kenny’s support system is thin but the seeds have been sown. In this episode, we see the beginnings of Kenny having to lean on his manager Roger (Marco Rodriguez). An athlete’s ego is his most fragile body part and it’s vital that they be maintained with the utmost care. Kenny Powers is no different. But with an ego as big as his, he’s gonna need more help than that.
And that’s where Stevie comes in. Stevie, the ever-misguided devotee, takes all the abuse in stride because he worships Kenny Powers. Without him, Kenny Powers would sink further into oblivion, but with Stevie on his side at least he can count on him to get his laundry done. Even with Stevie dropping the bombshell of April getting back with Terrance Cutler, he proves to be the ever loyal friend. By the end of the episode, Kenny Powers can’t deny the over-eager pleaser and lets him join his team.
We also meet Charros’s owner Sebastian Cisneros (Michael Pena) in a pussy palace so massive that it made pussy magnet Kenny Powers blush. We see there’s already a mutual respect between the two bad mofos, as well as an understanding for extravagant pageantry. Hopefully this serves as a mere appetizer for what promises to be a great match-up of fuckery. A glimpse of Kenny’s helpful neighbor, Catuey (Efren Ramirez), and Kenny’s sultry lover Vida (Ana de la Reguera) is always welcome and hopefully we get to see Vida and Kenny in extended interaction together soon.
Not only are we rewarded with the return of hero-worshiper Stevie Janowski, but Kenny reveals his rules for announcing one’s alpha dog status. Take notes, as this works in prison just as well as on the baseball diamond.
1. Trash the last team you played for.
2. Pick the biggest, baddest dude on the team and kick him in the teeth.
These are rules to live by, but of course they fail to deliver the desired results. “Bad-Ass”-ery is a pill that can’t be swallowed in one day, even under the glow of fireworks, piped-in rawk music, and an awesomely grotesque WWE-inspired entrance. Instead of being hailed as the American Hero he had hoped, Kenny Powers was welcomed to the game with indifference and a lot of eye-rolling. Kenny’s schtick couldn’t elicit anything more than a quick stampede for the exits, even after a three-pitch strike-out to end the lop-sided game.
Looks like it’ll be a long ass ride to get back to the top. Count me in.
Eastbound & Down is on every Sundays at 10:30 P.M. on HBO. Estás fucking fuera!