Curb Your Enthusiasm Recap: The Bi-Sexual

“Bats and balls run this world.”

Another gem of wisdom being dropped on us by one of the most memorable characters ever introduced on television. Leon is back mother#@$%as! And he’s “Living large! Just had a croissant filled with mother#@$%ing champagne!”

When Larry meets the perfect woman at the start of the episode, little does he know that this woman is also into chicks. Chicks named Rosie O’Donnell. Chicks that can get you sushi at Yankees Stadium. Chicks that can get you seats to The Tonys. Yeah, that’s the kind of power that Larry will be competing against. The conversation between Larry and Rosie about meeting the perfect woman is one of the most true to life conversations they could’ve had between a heterosexual man and a homosexual woman when describing how taut this woman’s tits are. So she’s a bi-sexual? Yup. “It’s so selfish. Half the population isn’t enough?” Valid point there, LD. Valid point.

So when neither Rosie nor Larry backs down from pursuing this woman, they engage in a little friendly competition full of baseball metaphors and good old-fashioned locker room ribbing. But how do you beat a lesbian? Someone who “knows all the nooks and crannies” of the female body… Simple.

You juice.

When Larry feels like he’s got the upper-hand, Rosie can’t deal with it. It’s really funny stuff. A dyke (it’s okay, Rosie would say it too) and a straight man trying to one-up the other when talking last-night’s conquest? The genius of Larry David. But when the jig is up, LD is left without a warm body to wake up next to. Just another case of juicing gone bad. And if he didn’t get caught, he’d have been celebrated as the only straight man who stole a bisexual from a lesbian. It’d have been a win for all us chronic fornicators.

While the sexual metaphors were brilliantly played (a lesbian playing softball, “gloves and bats” anyone?, “You had sushi last night?”), I really enjoyed the sushi subplot along the way. The difference between a “worthy bow” and a “shit bow”? Ha! Watching Larry David bow at a 90° angle is a lot funnier than you’d expect. Maybe it’s because I enjoy watching white people bow, because no matter how sincere they may be, they just look ridiculous doing it. And of course it was this sort of attitude to be “sincere” in a joking way that would expose Larry’s dirty little secret.

Also, who else was surprised that Larry David, while looking very awkward, looked like he could actually play a little ball. Granted it was softball, but shit. Larry David can play.

I could have done without the whole lunch with the non-friend storyline. I thought he nipped it in the bud at the sushi joint. Why go any further with it? LD’s whole “There will be no lunch, no breakfast, no dinner, no coffee, no drinks…” kind of already did it for me. Don’t you think?