Californication Recap: Lawyers, Guns, And Money (NSFW)

“Because now I know what it’s about. It sure the #@$% isn’t about warm wet pussy. It’s about a guy trying to keep it together while falling apart.”

From make-up to break-up and everything in between, Hank can’t ever seem to get anything right. It was only a matter of time before Abby dumped his ass and gave up on helping this poor rapist’s case, thanks in large part to a douchebag in a fedora’s SFW pic of “2 Girls, 1 Moody”. Getting dumped by your lawyer is never good. Neither is getting dumped by the hot young actress who’s supposed to star in your movie. Will this be the last time we see Sasha Bingham? I sure hope not.

The picture that launched a thousand blogs

After being unceremoniously dropped by two babes — one of whom he’s yet to stick it into — Hank is paid a visit by ex-wifey Karen, seconds after sucking face with Sasha Bingham. Sasha takes it as a cue to leave, which is upsetting to me. Hopefully Showtime will have the decency to send her off without any pants on. Hank has hit “rock bottom” and tells Karen as much. Just as surprised as Hank that your lawyer can dump you, Karen tells Hank to straighten his shit up and get back to being a somewhat functioning fuck-up. Reminding him that he’s only got one thing left to be good at and that’s being a father to Becca.

On the sunnier side of town, we watch the budding romance between Marcy and Stu begin to bloom. Brought under the guise of a full-day waxing treatment, Marcy has been duped into visiting Stu’s residence. Refusing to be taken advantage of, Marcy threatens to leave forcing Stu to volunteer himself to “The Full Kardashian”. Ends and starts just as you’d imagine. What is it with actress Pamela Adlon and bald dudes? Is there some sort of sick joke written into her contract? First Evan Handler, then Louie CK, and now Stephen Tobolowsky. She must have an exclusive deal worked out with Just For Men or into cueballs.

Returning to Hank, we find him in another “meeting” with Eddie Nero. Rob Lowe’s manic performance is taken up another notch and is turning out to be rather enjoyable. Using Becca’s visit to a tattoo studio, Hank tries unsuccessfully to weasel out of hanging out with the oversexed Nero. This doesn’t work out too well and ends up in guns being drawn and a punch to “the moneymaker”. After the excitement, Hank’s soft spot is tickled as Nero “gets it”. He’ll do the movie ’cause “it’s about the mother#@$%ing dark side”!

And thanks to a visit from Karen, Abby is finally pushed into the arms of Hank. Firmly entrenched on Team Moody. It only took 6 episodes before they knocked boots and unfortunately for us… Carla Gugino kept her clothes on .