“You can’t polish a turd.”
Hank arrives bearing gifts for Karen — hot java and a charming smile. Somehow this works and gets him the five or so minutes he needs to jump into a suit. Karen is puddy in his hands which frustrates the hell out of me. I don’t get it. Why isn’t Karen literally trying to rip his head off? Thankfully, Becca arrives to spew venom and sock Hank in the face with the quote listed above. Parents can always count on their kids to unapologetically keep them in check.
And nothing like a meeting with the lawyer to keep you humbled. Although there looks to be no case, Abby is quick to hold Hank down from jumping with joy. After turning down his multiple advances and “adjusting the truth”, Abby finally relents after getting caught in a lie. Hank may have won a date but it’ll cost him…
Runkle, still averaging a girl an episode, gets pretty intimate with Hank. Bro to bro, he needs to know what to do about his mess of pubes. Hank, unable to look away, suggests he shave it all. Not a good idea. I would know. But luckily my adventures in man-scaping aren’t made for TV and so we’re left with Runkle screaming at the sight of his mangled bleeding penis. Marcy is there to take him to the hospital where they meet the only working doctor in La La Land . Looks like Runkle isn’t neutered and may still be in the running to be America’s next deadbeat father! Good luck with that storyline.
Meanwhile, Hank’s date with Abby starts off with an awkward but always pleasantly painful running into with Mia. Sasha Bingham is there as well, picking Mia’s brain in preparation for her role. Any appearance by the lovely Sasha Bingham is welcome. You hear me Showtime? I want more Sasha Bingham. Preferably without any clothes on. Anyways, back to the date, Hank and Abby flirt like crazy talking about life and careers and love and well… this might be the only date that doesn’t end with Hank doing the girl from behind. He jets to see Becca play.
I skipped over Becca’s band performance because, quite frankly, I hate watching people younger than me rubbing their talents all up in my face. Sorry Zoe Kravitz, nothing personal. Things get a little more interesting when Hank is introduced to Pearl’s dad who is trying his hardest to get in with Karen. Jealousy! Competition! Conflict!
Hank checks out, saving his girls from further embarrassment. But it isn’t long before he’s dragged into saving the girl who brought his fantasy world crashing down. Talking Mia down from the ledge was probably the best thing to happen to him as it leads to more bad life decisions and even worse endings.
the chronic fornicator
pudge NASTY
