“I just thought maybe we could spend some time out here and not think about reality for a little while.”
Well, I guess there’s no point beating around the bush nowadays, huh? Straight to it. No build up. No tense court room drama. No loud arguing and gavel pounding. Just a screenshot of a blog post. I like it.
And since the episode revolves around Hank’s verdict, I’d be remiss if I didn’t warn you. Spoiler Alert.
“Hank Moody Found Guilty in Lolita Rape Case” as so aptly headlined by Californication’s resident blogger, Defamer, delivers the news via Macbook Pro product placement. And since this is La La Land, word travels fast. Before the opening credits are rolling, Team Moody is well-informed of the verdict. Hank and Abby take the news like champs. Their next move? Getting shitfaced.
It’s not every day that a man wakes up to a perfect pair of legs but when you’re Hank Moody, who dreams of blowjobs from nuns in church, it’s sort of expected. Finding out that those legs belong to a naked Abby is just icing on the cake. Pity bangs, complimentary. Fortunately for us, Hank is caught red-handed trying to ninja out the morning after, which makes for more Carla Gugino screentime. I’ll take it. Whatever I can get.
Unable to face the music at home, Hank swings by Runkle’s pad and is introduced to Lucky Girl #22, freaky deaky Peggy. She wants to play “Home Invasion” with Hank which sounds like a fun time to me. Don’t know why Runkle shoots that idea down. But if you’re going to deny a man who’s about to spend the next few years in prison some meaningless sex, the least you can do is hand him a hundred grand (give or take). Hank’s payment for services rendered on the set of Sasha’s shitty sequel, which he quickly uses to buy himself a new Porsche.
Picking up Becca after school proves to be a downer. She lambastes his poor life choices, lashing out because it hurts. Hank’s got no witty comeback and so he drives her back home. Back at the hotel bar, Hank runs into an old friend, Trixie (Judy Greer) from Season 2. Still whoring and dreaming of running away, Trixie is treated to a nice rubdown by “Magic Hands Moody” who passes out in her lap and dreams of 1950′s family life. It’s in black & white, so you already know I hate it. When he finally comes back down to reality, he makes another rash decision. He’s going to run. Why? Because, this is what Hank Moody does. But like Godfather III, every time Hank thinks he’s out, they pull him right back in.
Coaxed into stopping by the house where he’s surprised with one last hurrah, Hank can’t imagine being anywhere else. Finally home, Hank makes peace as best as he can. Champagne, dinner, and reminiscing about past sexcapades is always a good time. Afterward, a much-needed smoke sesh between Karen, Marcy, Runkle, and Hank make for a scene that reminds us that sometimes the only things you want in life are good friends and better weed. Things will never be the same again for this foursome, but hell if they can’t make it work.