“You had the magic puss and you lost it. You think balling 89 more broads is gonna make you feel any better about that?”
Hank Moody starts the latest chapter in his life having spent a night in the joint, smelling like he “just walked out of a fisting contest”. Kinda sucks to be him… If you haven’t been following David Duchovny‘s latest self-sabotaging reincarnation that may or may not be a little too close to true life, then you’ve probably caught up by watching the series recap thoughtfully put together by the good people at Showtime playing before the episode.
Having torpedoed his latest go at happiness, Hank is picked up by trusty agent and ever-loyal friend, Runkle (Evan Handler). Old cueball has his own spousal problems to deal with having been handed divorce papers after a failed reconciliation at the end of season 3. Misery sure loves her company! Runkle tries to stall for as long as he can but can take a hint when Hank threatens to put his cigarette out in Runkle’s asshole.
They’re greeted at Hank’s apartment by the Misses formerly known as Marcy Runkle (Pamela Adlon), who guards the door like a frothing mad pitbull. Adlon is excellent in her role as the down-ass bitch as anyone who caught her on FX’s Louie will attest to. Unfortunately for Hank, the lovefest doesn’t last long as Karen (Natascha McElhone) comes storming in to throw a spare shirt in Hank’s face. Like a punch to the midsection, we’re reminded again just how dysfunctional of a man Hank Moody is. I mean, this is a man who unwittingly fucked a minor, broke up a marriage, exposed a sham career, broke up another marriage, and then fractures his own family… Man, this is a fuck-up.
Thankfully, the show’s producers have the common decency to not let this emotional abuse go on any longer than it should. Enter steely hottie Abby (Carla Gugino) – Hank’s criminal defense lawyer who holds nothing back. Refreshing to see her cracking the whip on Hank and always good to see that body that could make any pantsuit look like evening wear. God, I love this woman. If I could pay her to love me I would. I mean, look at her. Something tells me they won’t let those tits go to waste by keeping her covered up.
Anyways, back to the show! Abby takes on Hank’s case thanks to his charming shit-eating grin. The next day, Runkle is back in the house that he masturbated in. He’s set up a meeting with Hollywood’s next leading lady who plans on playing Mia in the film adaptation of Hank’s Fucking and Punching.
World, meet Sasha Bingham (Addison Timlin). I’ll end the review right here and give you guys what you want because the show ends up exactly as you’d imagined. Hank and Sasha bang all in the name of acting. Hank’s assault charges are dropped before he is immediately cuffed and charged with statutory rape in front of the courthouse. Like I said before, sucks to be him.