With March Madness finally upon us, we have an almost unhealthy amount of basketball being brought to us at almost every hour we can imagine. My bracket’s already gone bust (thanks a lot Mizzouri & Duke!), so why not create a bracket that’s guaranteed to get me to bust? Win-Win.
While a lot of you may question the reasoning behind this, let me just say it wasn’t easy. Having a lot of time of your hands doesn’t always translate to being productive — it’s really a vicious cycle if you think about it, because would I have all this time on my hands if I was being productive or is my being unproductive the reason for all this time on my hands? Did I just ask the same question in a different way? Maybe. I’m punch-drunk at this point.
For the past week I’ve scoured the deepest and shadiest crevices of the internet to select the 69 (of course) pornstars that would be included in the final bracket. And let me tell you that it wasn’t exactly the walk in the park that I was expecting. In fact, it’s not always easy finding out if a pornstar is even alive, much less working, but thanks to sites like iafd.com and freeones.com, I was able to gather up as much information as possible on whether or not these girls were retired, doing solo masturbation videos only, or still taking that dick like a champ.
So before I present you all with the finalized NoRubbers.tv Pornstar Madness Bracket, let me just clarify the qualifications that helped guide me in choosing the 69 best girls I could.
- Hardcore. Porn = Dick in Pussy. Simple as that.
- Still active. I tried to pick porn stars that were still doing their thang thang in the industry (so no Jenna Jameson or Gina Lynn). And as I mentioned above, that sort of information can sometimes be hard to come by. I mean, there’s really no way to know whether Carmella Bing is still riding dick, but she’s hot and I like her tits. So there’s that. Basically if she’s got a good number of credits (>15) for 2011, she’s okay in my book.
- Name recognition. If you ever meet a pornstar, she’s going to let you know that her brand is what makes her. So the more popular a girl is, the better she looks to the fapping public, and by extension, me. While there’s tons of hot amatuers out there, I probably won’t know who they are but I can sure tell you who BiBi Jones is even though she’s got only a handful of credits to her name. Don’t worry she’s only 19! Plenty of time to get that filmography up.
As for seeding, it went something like how the NCAA Men’s Basketball Selection Committee handles their tournament. Locked up in a room, alone. Lots of tape (and Kleenexes). Reviewing any sort of news along the AVN, XBIZ wire. Taking into account any awards, mainstream success, twitter activity. Pretty faces go a long way for me. Think of that as sort of like the RPI ranking. Then you could think of the type of stuff she’s willing to do (such as anal, fisting, squirting, etc.) as Strength of Schedule. Exclusive Studio contract girls are kind of like the Major Conference powerhouses while the infinite number of hot Latinas on the BangBros network are like the Mid-Majors. Power conferences get points for playing with future pros, and the same goes for studio girls.
Now, do you kind of get how I got to where I am? Alright, enough with the blubbering.
NoRubbers.tv presents to you the first ever Pornstar Madness Bracket. Enjoy!
The tournament will go along something like 4 match-ups a day, depending on how I’m feeling. I suspect I’ll be shooting blanks by the end of the Round of 64, but I’m going stick to 4 as much as I can. By the end of this, I’ll hope that I have enough people following to have you vote on the Final Four, but if not, then I’ll just continue choosing whoever it is that I want to keep jerking off to.
Sounds good? Good. Let the fapping begin!