Daily Archives: July 17, 2012

Don’t Tell Florida’s Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll That Her Office May Have A Lesbian Sex Problem

Florida is that state where things like sex scandals and idiots in politics rarely make the national news. Mainly because it’s likely to be no big deal.

But Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll doesn’t look like a lesbian

Gawker is reporting that Florida’s Lt. Governor, Jennifer Carroll, has been accused of receiving oral sex from a former travel aide in her office.

That travel aide is nowhere to be found. On Google Search.

The slightly arousing but mostly meh accusations come from Carletha Cole, a former employee of Lt. Governor Carroll who says she caught the Lt. Governor in a very compromising position.

In a letter provided to a local paper by a polygraph examiner, Cole:

“observed the lieutenant governor sitting at the desk with her foot up on the cadenza [sic] and her skirt hiked up. Beatrice Ramos was kneeling in front of Carroll, poised as if she (Ramos) was about to or had performed oral sex on the Lieutenant Governor.”

Quick, imagine that for a second.

Mmm… lesbians

Now, ask yourself how do you possibly defend yourself from accusations as detailed as that?

Well, this is how Lt. Governor Carroll responded:

“My husband doesn’t want to hear that. He knows the type of woman I am. I mean, my kids know the type of woman I am. For twenty-nine years—I’m the one that’s married for twenty-nine years. The accuser is the one that’s been single for a long time. So usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.”

Man, you just gotta love Florida. Deny it to the very end, Jenn! Deny, deny, deny!

I Wish I Was A Rich Republican So I Could Scissor Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman is nasty. But in a good way. In probably the best way possible.

I’d smell her finger if she asked me to

Sarah Silverman may also be a Democrat, seeing as how she’s just made this insanely indecent proposal to some rich Republican who promised to pledge $100 million to Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.

Watch the video. It’s funny. And oddly arousing.

Sarah Silverman probably gives great head. And she could tell you a joke with your dick in her hands. Now that is my definition of a keeper.

source= props to The 16th President via Huffington Post

Quit Smoking Today

I recently decided that I would make a concerted effort to quit smoking.

Many of my friends applauded the move. I lasted about half a day before I gave in and smoked an entire pack in less than 9 hours. It was as expected — awesome. But I immediately regretted it. And haven’t smoked one since.

It’s now been 2 whole days without a cigarette touching my lips. I’d like to think it was because of my strong will and determination. But I’ll be the first to admit that these anti-smoking ads I’ve come across have been incredibly helpful.

Here are two anti-smoking ads that my friends have shared with me:

Smoking can be bad for your health?

Why does he have to be shirtless?

While those ads have been eye-openers (your lungs can clean themselves?), there’s one that’s been a huge help in my fight to quit. It’s been real inspiring.

Wow, #@$% smoking!

I am above the influence.