While the Round of 64 may have been an arousing display of fundamentals and a showcase of great talents, the rounds hereafter will only get more demanding. More taxing. More grueling. And definitely a lot more sloppy.
In the Round of 32, I will again select a random video featuring each hopeful porn starlet but in the following categories of porn:
- Interracial Gangbang
- Lesbian Threesome
- Creampie
- Ass-To-Mouth
After watching the randomly chosen video, I will then select a winner based solely on her performance in that scene. While the Round of 64 weighed heavily on the history of the pornstar, the Round of 32 will give each girl a fighting chance — as long she’s bringing it.
Let the Pornstar Madness continue:
A2M (Ass To Mouth, Ass2Mouth, ATM) (As defined by Urban Dictionary):
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When a male is having anal sex, pulls out his penis and shoves it into the mouth of his partner.
“Oh my!” the girl reacted, ” that was an unexpected A2M!” “Could you pass me some mouthwash?”
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Anal pleasures is a very messy part of the business. It involves the hole where excrement is regularly pushed out of. It is not natural, many people will argue, and kind of gay. Granted. So why not make it messier? More unnatural? And involve another favorite hole of ours — the mouth. In one hole and out the other. Out one hole and in the other. If you really think about it, A2M is a sick stand-in for the Circle of Life. Except in reverse.
West Bracket – Round of 32
Andy San Dimas vs Alexis Texas
Before I evaluate these two nasty starlets, I feel like I need to clarify something.
A2M, or Ass to Mouth, is the sexual act of taking dick in your mouth after it has been fully inserted into an asshole. While it’s usually expected that said piehole and butthole belong to the same person, it is not, by any means, a requirement. Just ask the Internet Adult Film Database.
But brownie points if they do(o)-do(o) belong to the same nasty whore.
Andy San Dimas is a nasty whore who will do anal. And she will perform ass-to-mouth (27:51) on a finger. Just don’t ask her to taste her own butthole… Probably because it smells like unprocessed cheeses and feces apricots and berries. I don’t blame her. Buttholes always taste better when they’re not yours.
And I guess technically she doesn’t perform an actual A2M, which I could’ve sworn was happening when I first ran across the video. Finger. Penis. Same general idea.
It’s no secret that Alexis Texas has a great ass. One of the best you’ll ever find. She also does some great anal scenes, but what separates amazing from great is the courageous act of sticking that penis from Ass to Mouth. Alexis Texas performs that very act (20:24) after getting drilled and ass-worshiped for the better part of 15 minutes. The ass-worship is a vital part of an anal performance.
In this particular scene, Alexis Texas sticks a butt plug (3:23), finger (8:12), cock (11:54), and tongue (13:02) into her gorgeous round mound after sliding a diamond studded butt plug (2:40) out of porn’s most desired hole.
Even the extra broad and Lexington Steele’s monster cock couldn’t carry Andy San Dimas into the next round. Alexis Texas keeps pounding away.
Midwest Bracket – Round of 32
I don’t know when exactly Lexi Belle changed her hair color from brunette to blonde of blonde to brunette, but whenever it was it seemed like she was doing a lot more A2M when she was a brown haired girl. Which is surprising, considering blondes have way more fun.
A2M action (12:07) doesn’t arrive until well after the anal fun begins (10:29) which involves #@$%ing then spreading it (11:47). Shit got real at this point. Lexi Belle has shown me more about her talents in the past two videos than most other girls are willing to undertake in their entire career. Lexi Belle is a bad broad. Taking it up that gaping asshole once again before performing the vaunted double dip (vagina, asshole, vagina, asshole) into the mouth (16:06).
Lexi Belle is going to be tough to beat. Luckily Carmella Bing’s ass is up to task. And what an ass it is. First she opens it up with a nice glass toy. Then, you see just how wide an asshole can get (17:09) before she goes A2M (18:00-18:41). That’s not the end of it as Carmella takes the next 15 minutes bouncing her big ole ass off that hard dick. Shit ends in an anal creampie (32:24).
Since both girls performed so strongly in this match-up, shit was tighter than the only Asian girl you fingerbanged. So, in deciding the winner I flipped a coin and the coin said Lexi Belle.
I mean, who doesn’t love an underdog?
East Bracket – Round of 32
Boy, was I wrong about London Keyes. She’s a #@$%ing freak! Literally.
She jumps right in, or rather, the guy’s dick jumps right in. Into her butthole. (*High-five). London Keyes waits no time in cutting right to the chase. Performing A2M (9:35) after showing off a butthole tighter than most other pornstars (4:25-4:50). A tight butthole — that’s a good thing, right? Color me impressed.
Of course Phoenix Marie ain’t no slouch. Another one of my favorites, Phoenix Marie also knows how to get down and dirty. Performing A2M ain’t no thang for this bad ass broad whose asshole is a lot wider, a lot smellier, and probably a lot more beat up than London Keyes’s. So why should I expect anything less than stellar? Just look at the way her ass jiggles off her co-star’s nose (5:58) or how she takes a finger A2M (5:26) before punishing her butthole (16:58) and taking that prick Ass. To. Mouth (17:49).
Faced with another potential upset, I’ll go with the heavily favored Phoenix Marie instead. 12 Seeds can’t win ‘em all, right?
South Bracket – Round of 32
Courtney Cummz vs Rebecca Linares
The White Whore Who Loves Anal vs The Latina Whore Who Loves Anal.
While Courtney Cummz is no stranger to sticking things up her butt, her collection of A2M scenes are severely lacking by my estimation. Out of 100 anal credits, she has performed A2M in only 57% of those. Looking at those numbers, that’s actually pretty impressive.
I mean #@$%! 57 times tasting one’s own ass is 56 more times than I’ve done it.
Rebecca Linares is batting close to 57.5% (99 A2M/172 Anal), so she doesn’t have an advantage there. But what she does have an advantage in is just the sheer number of A2M scenes. She’s a walking ATM. And I don’t mean the machines that spits out twenties.
So how does this play out?
Courtney Cummz comes out swinging. Glammed up in her white dress and diamonds cubic zirconians, Courtney Cummz wastes no time getting pounded. But we’re not here to watch her get railed in the vagina. We’re here to watch her take some dick in the ass before shoving it down her gullet (8:33). And one A2M isn’t enough for her. She goes back to the Ass To Mouth well after a brutal four-minute long anal pounding (10:35-14:10). And since Courtney ain’t no chump, she caps off her very strong performance with an A2F (22:09).
A2F=Ass to Facial.
Let’s not forget dear old Rebecca Linares who saunters into the scene with a 4 inch butt plug already up her derriere (1:16). It’s pretty good stuff as she goes A2M without batting an eye, teasing us with a basket full of toys (2:09). From there, Rebecca Linares’s talents take over as her perfect package of cute and Latina overwhelm you even before she’s even taking that dick up her butthole (17:52). A2M (27:22-28:58) is easy compared to the rough sex being hammered into her ass crack. And since Rebecca Linares knows this ain’t no game, she also performs an A2F (40:09), uninterrupted.
Rebecca Linares bounces her tiny little ass past Courtney Cummz to sneak into the next round.
And there you have it. To get out of the Round of 32, the dirt road leads you from ass to mouth.
the chronic fornicator
pudge NASTY
