The 5 Most Dangerous Broads To Search For On The Internets

This list, published in Time magazine’s Techland, was drafted in 9/2011 by security software peddler McAfee and features a whole bunch of celebrities that you more than probably expected to see. The list is made up of the 10 most popular celebrities that yield a 1-in-10 chance of a Google search result leading to malware, spyware, adware, a trojan, a worm, a virus, or even worse, a nudie ad. Oh noes!

Remember to "Protect yourself at all times"

Looking over that list of popular celebs, I feel like there’s gotta be a whole bunch more that would be a whole lot worse to search for. Presenting No Rubbers’ totally unscientific and barely researched list of:

The 5 Most Dangerous Broads to Search For On The Internets

5. Kim Kardashian

Kim K. programming her next trojan virus.

You’d think this chick would have figured out a way to make money off her web searches, seeing as how she’s found a way to profit off a sex-tape, a reality show based on her inane family, and a fake wedding. But, alas, even the internets seem to have confounded Kim Karda$$hian’s money-making abilities. While everyone using the internet has already seen her above mentioned sex-tape by now, Kim Karda$$hian continues to bring in the traffic (probably due to her huge A$$ets and the fact that she finds herself in the gossip rags for dating damn near every black athlete). Stop searching for her. Maybe she’ll eventually go away.

4. Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus celebrates crashing your Hard Drive.

In the Internet Age, where toddlers learn how to use a Blackberry while still in the womb, there has been a surge in internet searches for teeny boppers like Hannah Montana’s Miley Cyrus. While the chipmunk-cheeked country singer continues to transition from jail-bait to sexualized idol, Google has been very kind to her. Want to stop Miley Cyrus from spreading to your computer? Stop being a pedophile.

3. Justin Bieber lesbian

Justin Bieber was created on the internet.

Justin Bieber is not a broad. I did not know that. In fact, for the longest time I thought Justin Bieber was a lesbian. And I wasn’t the only one who thought that. Which would explain why this would be such a dangerous search term, right? For example, you search “Justin Bieber lesbian” and something like “Justin Bieber lesbian smooch with Selena Gomez” may pop up. Or “Justin Bieber lesbian debates with Pro-Choice activists”. And don’t even think of clicking on “Justin Bieber lesbian oil-wrestling”. That shit can lead to some really bad malware being installed on your computers. Believe me.

2. Rihanna

Rihanna wants to #@$% up your Wi-Fi.

Rihanna is one bad broad. She didn’t let a little thing like a violent face-bashing stop her from getting back on the Chris Brown bandwagon. That’s part of her appeal. She can take a punch and probably throw one right back (unless you’re Chris Brown). Before that little hiccup, she was steady climbing up the Google search ranks but now? Well now you can’t find a website that won’t talk about this dynamite performer. Trying to quit her even though you know you don’t want to? Then stop illegally downloading her music. I’m sure she’d appreciate that.

1. Lady GaGa

Lady GaGa stays Googling herself.

As one of the most popular pop divas in the world, Lady GaGa had to make the list. I mean, she’s got “Lady” in her name! Remember there was that whole period where people were searching whether or not Lady GaGa had a dick or didn’t have a dick, and with search terms like that lots of questionable results are bound to pop up. She doesn’t have a dick, just to save you from the trouble of unwanted penis enlargement spam.