In just a few short weeks, New York City will elect a new mayor to lead the world’s capital. The last time the city did that it voted in a multi-billionaire who hasn’t left the office in 12 years(!). With Mike Bloomberg finally ready to give up his seat, one that he poured countless of dollars into retaining, the great city of New York will hold its general election for New York City Mayor on November 5, 2013.
And since there’s only one female candidate running (and she’s a lesbian to boot), I thought why not do some research into New York City’s next potential mayor, Christine Quinn. Here’s some quick facts about the Democratic candidate:
She’s a female.
She’s a lesbian.
She helped Mike Bloomberg pass a bill to get his third term.
She served on City Council.
She’s a lesbian.
Christine Quinn — Would you…with no rubbers?
More pics to help you make the right choice after the jump.
It was revealed yesterday that Mets ace Matt Harvey has a partial UCL tear in his elbow, which means that his 2013 season is more than likely over. It also means that there is a strong possibility that Tommy John surgery will be needed to correct the injury, which in turns means that he may miss the entirety of the 2014 season as well.
It’s so goddamn tough being a New York Metropolitan fan.
Life as a Mets fan
Here’s four and a half things worse than being a Mets fan right now.
Painful but not as painful as hearing Johan Santana’s name
1. Being hit in the nuts. As a man, I can confirm that being hit in the nuts is not a very pleasant experience. Not only is it physically very painful but it can also be quite traumatizing mentally. Your nuts hold the future you’s in a nice body temperature regulated sack that is not meant to be harmed. But a true Mets fan will tell you that rooting for the Mets is like being hit in the nuts every day.
Whenever I get my heart broken, I go back to this classic Simpsons moment
2. Having your heart broken. At one point or another you will have experienced the moment when your beating heart breaks in half. And when it does, it unleashes a flood of emotions so overpowering that those around you should be advised to walk ten paces back and take shelter. Emotions can be a scary thing and when you invest yourself in something that in the end doesn’t work out in the way that fairy tales usually do, you are left holding your heart in two pieces. But a true Mets fan will tell you that they no longer have hearts because they’ve had their hearts broken so many times already.
Not worse than watching Beltran strike out looking in the 2006 NLCS
Miley Cyrus might have stolen the spotlight at the VMAs last night (according to the amount of twitter posts out there), but just because the world can’t recognize the beauty in watching a white girl twerk her ass off into infamy, don’t let that stop you #@$%ers from realizing that there was a whole lot more to the VMAs than Miley Cyrus twerking with teddy bears and Beetlejuice.
Whatever blurred line that just got crossed is now on Robin Thicke’s suit
There was Lady Gaga being weird, which is nothing new.
And then there was a great shot of her ass cheeks. Which, like, damn girl!
Then Kanye West gave a helluva performance for “Blood On The Leaves”.
But Drake had to go ahead and promote his upcoming album by blinking.
And oh yeah, ‘N Sync got back together again.
But then Taylor Swift was all like, “Shut the #@$% up” because right?
There were also several lovely ladies at last night’s VMAs. And don’t you forget it.
I hope Ariana Grande never outgrows her adorable-ness
Katy Perry doesn’t know the meaning of “showing off what you got”
And the VMA for “Best Dressed”? Selena Gomez
Taylor Swift came in a close second. She got a VMA anyways
Damn, Glee’s Naya Rivera is making want to take that all back
I don’t know who Erin Wasson is but I’m inviting her to my backyard BBQ’s more often
Allison Williams looking classy, as usual
Melanie Iglesias can certainly pick out a dress
Iggy Azalea’s whooty was my sleeper pick for “Ass I’d Most Like To See Twerk”
Ciara keeps that whole sheer gown trend going
She sells seashells by the seashore
Lady Gaga’s best side
Don’t hurt yourself, Miley
Stop sticking out your tongue, it’s making me horny
Miley Cyrus wasn’t the only hottie in Brooklyn last night.
Anna Kendrick first popped up on my radar with an incredible performance in 2009′s Up In The Air starring alongside George Clooney and Vera Farmiga. Then she captured my heart in the awesomely wonderful Pitch Perfect. Now, she’s set to star alongside Olivia Wilde, Ron Livingston and Jake Johnson as a functioning alcoholic in the upcoming Drinking Buddies.
Since then, Anna Kendrick has joined a K-Pop Girl Band, had a Billboard single in the Top 10 and cured cancer. Okay, maybe she didn’t cure cancer (yet!) but she’s built herself up into becoming the next big thing in Hollywood. Which can only mean one thing — more sexy photoshoots with men’s magazines!
Here is the first, of many, Anna Kendrick photoshoots for GQ magazine.
The Power Rankings of Hotties just got a wake up call
And there’s video!
Who knew the super anal chick in “Up In The Air” looked so good in stilettos
Anna Kendrick may not look like it but she’s got a nice little tuckus
The first of what I hope will be many more sexy Anna Kendrick photoshoots
“Slut-shaming” is not a practice that I am particularly fond of.
Eminem does not approve of slut-shaming
First off, it discredits the simple fact that it takes two consenting adults to #@$%. It is also not very helpful for all you #@$%ers out there to be partaking in this disgusting practice because it, 100% of the time, eliminates you from taking part in all the fun. And by fun, I mean the free sex.
So, instead of bashing #SlaneGirl for enjoying the hell out of what sounded like an amazing concert experience witnessing one of the greatest rappers of all time perform live at an outdoor venue, let’s just take a deep breath and remember that it is never cool to make fun of girls who perform oral sex (even in public) and that there are and always will be more constructive ways to discuss sex like adults.
Like making up a list of twelve and a half Eminem songs that #SlaneGirl was probably listening to while giving two dudes head at the concert.
12½ Eminem Songs That #SlaneGirl Was Probably Listening To While Giving That Dude A Blowjob
1. Just Don’t Give A #@$%. No shit. A classic Eminem track off the revered Slim Shady LP, this song encapsulates the essence of what made Eminem the Real Slim Shady. It also perfectly represents the attitude of a girl giving not one but two blowjobs at a concert in front of 80,000 people.
2. Drug Ballad. Reports of #SlaneGirl’s drug use are still bubbling up to the surface but like any true Eminem fan will tell you, blaming drugs for your actions are oftentimes misguided and completely dismiss the fact that you, and only you, are responsible for your actions. Yes, drugs lower inhibitions and skew your perceptions of reality, but like the song says drugs did not stick a penis in your mouth.
3. W.T.P. White people… SMH.
4. Ass Like That. #SlaneGirl is 17 years old which means she was of legal age to be participating in oral sex, unfortunately for the supposed man in Belfast who first uploaded the images of the girl on her knees at the concert, 17 years old is not old enough. Why is this song up here then? Because it’s probably what the guy must’ve been thinking when he snapped a quick pic of the girl. Don’t do that.
5. Crazy In Love. This song was off of Eminem’s first truly disappointing album, Encore. Yeah, it was angry and vulgar but it lacked the carefree-ness of Eminem’s more respected tracks. It’s a love song but lacked the venom for most. But a great song to listen to with your girlfriend. So, it makes the cut.
6. Insane. Off of Eminem’s long-anticipated album after years of silence, this track is just one of many where an obviously rusty Eminem tries recapturing the magic that he so desperately thought he lost. I blame the rust on Eminem no longer doing drugs, but the violent imagery is still there. Also, you have to be insane to perform fellatio in a crowd of 80,000 fans of a degenerate white boy. #NoSlutShame #NotVictimBlaming
7. Superman. Aside from the next song on the list, this was probably the song that converted a lot of teenage girls over to Eminem. It was soft and gentle enough with its easy to sing to chorus, but it was still backed up by a very funny video from Eminem. And what girl can resist a guy who can make her laugh?
8. Hailie’s Song. Because who doesn’t love this song?
Just look at the happy couple. Stare if you need to!
This news will likely strike you very hard and leave you depressed for days, as it did to me. And unfortunately, things won’t get any better once you see the big-ass diamond ring that Paulina Gretzky said “yes” to. And you know what, who can really blame “Big D” Johnson for putting a ring on it? Shit, if I got paid millions of dollars a year to play golf for a few years, making major life-changing decisions become just a little bit easier.